Frequently Asked Questions
I am thinking about asking my fiancé or fiancee to enter
into a prenuptial agreement; how should I raise this sensitive
subject without engendering negative feelings?
Bringing up the subject of a prenuptial agreement can be difficult. Some people are
uncomfortable talking about finances, and others fear that by asking their fiancée to
enter into a prenuptial agreement that they will be suggesting they distrust them. There
is no doubt that this is a sensitive subject and must be approached gently and well in
advance of your planned wedding.
A good marriage requires open communications and understanding. So I suggest
you be forthright, heartfelt and clear about your desire to enter into a prenuptial
agreement with your fiancee. Initiating discussion about a prenuptial agreement
compels you and your soon-to-be spouse to discuss critical and important issues.
The behavior and reactions of your partner in this process is often extremely
revealing. While working through a prenuptial agreement may not be the most
"romantic" project, working together to consider and choose the terms of your marital
partnership can actually strengthen your relationship. After all, marriage is a
partnership, and if you were going into business with any partner, wouldn't you first
draw up an agreement that addressed such basic concepts as who was contributing
what assets to the venture? And, further, wouldn't such a partnership agreement also
cover how the assets and liabilities of that arrangement would be divided, should the
partners decide to call it quits?
Pre-planning with your partner by discussing what should be included in a
prenuptial agreement opens up essential conversations about money and with that,
conversations about values. Which assets will be separate and which will be owned
jointly? How do you and your spouse wish to spend or invest your money? What debts
do you each have, and how will they be paid off? These are all vitally important issues to
discuss prior to marriage. Resolving these issues is not being fatalistic or signaling a
distrust of your fiancé or fiancee. Taking the precaution of entering into a prenuptial
agreement prevents someone from being surprised financially if the marriage does not
In most instances prenuptial agreements are not nearly the tough sell that people
fear they will be when they first raise the issue with their fiancee. Most high-net worth
individuals and professionals, and those dating them, expect that a prenuptial
agreement will just be part of the deal.